• Swedish for "Ralph": Clearly, this woman is disturbed to the point of illness over Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's visit to Columbia today. Or it's a ladyproblem.

• Hard time: Die Hard director John McTiernan has been sentenced to four months in prison by a federal judge for lying to the FBI about his hiring of disgraced PI Anthony Pellicano.

• Facebook facialed: New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo has issued a subpoena to the networking site after his undercover investigators were snubbed when following up on underage perv-prey issues.

• Moment of silence: Having died at age 84, legendary mime Marcel Marceau is laid to rest—in a very real box.