O HAYL NO Oprah, Fred Goldman (left inset), Denise Brown (right inset)

Shame to those of you who assumed Oprah's decision to do a program on the upcoming release of O.J. Simpson's If I Did It was about the skyrocketing ratings guarantee. Ever hear of censorship? Freedom of speech, maybe? All the myriad other admirable fights for justice Oprah likes to get behind to, um, mask her money play? You disappoint us.

In yesterday's episode of Oprah, before welcoming the Goldman's, Oprah said (and reiterated again ... and again ... and again), "It's a book I will not be reading, but you get to decide what you do. You can make up your own mind because we live in a country where we don't believe in censorship and everyone gets to choose. I've chosen not to read it, but obviously my producers have read it." In other words, "Be an asshole, but I'm not. I'm here for your ratings."

Ron Goldman's father, Fred, took the familiar line that the book is not "a manual for murder" but a confession and that he wants people to hear it, and, God willing, save one girl at a time. "Based upon what I've heard," Oprah chimed in, "he doesn't really confess and says that this is all hypothetical." (O, O.p.p., this is when not reading the book you're devoting an entire hour-long show to is kind of counterproductive.) Kim Goldman, Ron's sister, noted O.J.'s savvy money dodges, having done nothing to pay them the $30-some million settlement they were awarded in the early '90s. As for the "hypothetical" claim, "an innocent person does not write hypothetically about how he would decapitate the mother of his children," said Kim. Eminem would probably beg to differ, but whatevs. [Note: It seems to us that she has already spent the impending profits on some serious facial work. No judgment!]

Denise Brown, Nicole Brown Simpson's sister who claims to have been guilted into appearing by O herself, refused to sit in the same room with the Goldmans. She countered that O.J. depicts Nicole in an extremely harsh light and implies she's a drug addict slut and that, in that, in a way, she got what was coming to her ... if he did it. She's calling for a boycott. Still. Despite appearing.

In special-guest country were Chris Darden (who's clearly been hitting the buffet table to ease his post-trial sorrows) and Marcia Cross (who's a had a serious newscaster re-do, complete with frosted hair and a Hollywood Tan), who are both torn because they know that the Goldman's have been gypped out of their settlement, but that the book is extremely harsh on Nicole.

Besides Oprah and Barnes and Noble, did anyone get anything from this? In the end, the audience seemed appalled that the Goldmans are going through with the book's release, but we're betting they'll buy it anyway. That said, it wouldn't surprise us in the least if, in addition to being an Oprah Book Club favorite (or at least a Times best-seller), it also turns out to make for popular kindling.