It's a massive month for TV series premieres, but none is bigger than the triumphant return of NBC's American Gladiators. The revived show could air as soon as midseason, which means producers must be working hard behind the scenes to update the show for a modern audience—though who are we kidding—jousting sticks and patriotic onesies work in any era.

To help the new class of Creatine-enhanced warriors prepare to cage fight, Radar tracked down Dan Clark, also known as Nitro, from the original 1989 lineup that also included greats like Malibu, Lace, Gemini, and Zap.

Clark's been busy taping Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge —"I've been asked to do a lot of different reality shows and always thought they were degrading, like walking around in a thong in a house with other people," he says. "But this, this was man law. It was an adventure against a bull. And it's hard as hell."

He offered the following words of wisdom for future Lightnings and Turbos. His pearls after the jump ...

Keep the names
NITRO: "They can't modernize the character names too much. Are they going to call one Hard Drive? What made Gladiators successful was the idea of these mythological super-warriors taking on these everyman weekend warriors, who still think they can compete, to compete in crazy games against superheroes. So you've got to keep the brand going. My character's name, Nitro, was for someone wild, explosive, and cocky. They were originally going to call me something god awful like Evander—it's like, who is named that?"

Update the formula for 2007
"They might change the mullets. You have to consider what's working today. But Superman hasn't changed in 50 years. And look at wrestlers, they haven't changed, and they still have bad haircuts. But the show has progressed. If you look at the first years, we had a ref with an executioner's mask, and everyone was over the top and snarling at the camera. It's almost like watching an old porn from the '70s, it's so funny. But with the new technology, I think they are going to bring the games up to speed. It's going to be bigger, better, faster, stronger. They want to make it bionic. This is Gladiators: the running man version."

Keep the live crowd
"I told the producer, no matter how crazy the games get, you still need the live audience component. You can't have people jousting over the Sahara without a crowd. You need the roar of approval and the agony of defeat; you need to have fans to cheer for their heroes. Don't forget, at the heart of this competition is a modern guy versus a gladiator, a David versus a Goliath. It can't get so big that you can't see the guy's hand shaking, that you can't feel the fight."

Bring Nitro in as a host
"I would expect, being the iconoclastic character, they would bring me back to co-host. I am the link between the old and the new. There are people that really miss the old Gladiators, and I think we can satisfy all those people. Oh, you miss the original show? Well, here's Dan 'Nitro' Clark ... bam!"

New gladiators: make Nitro proud
"You gotta man-up out there, even the girls. You've gotta go out there and have an attitude. I'm not saying be Terrell Owens or Michael Vick, but you've gotta hold your chest out and bring it. This is more than just a show. Gladiating is on ESPN Classic every night. You don't want to be a crazy wrestler, and you don't want to be a regular guy. You must embody a persona that people respect. You are a modern-day hero wearing the colors of our flag, and that's a big deal."