Known as the loudest lady on clay, grass, and hardcourt, Russian tennis phenom Maria Sharapova is surprisingly quiet in between the sheets. At least according to squeaky-voiced slimeball Adam Levine.

The Maroon 5 lead singer and Sharapova's ex explained the couple's split by pointing to her lack of grunts in the bedroom. "I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type," Levine reportedly said, according to Russian ex-pat prankster magazine eXile.

"It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards," Levine continues, seemingly unaware of Sharapova's ability to smash balls at over 100 mph.

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