Remember when your favorite maybe-gay magazine gently held your well-moisturized hand and walked you through tips on style, behavior, and good consumerism? Details, it seems, has taken a turn and become an angry, old queen. Torn fresh from the pages of the September issue of Radar, a survey of recent headlines from Details magazine, Condé Nast's metrosexual stepchild. One nagging mom's enough for us, thank you!

1. "Why Your Six-Figure Salary Just Isn't Good Enough"—05/07
2. "Have You Become That Guy'?"—05/07
3. "Is It Time for Botox?"—05/07

4. "Why Isn't Your Wife Pregnant Yet?"—03/07
5. "Have You Already Cashed The Biggest Paycheck You'll Ever Get?"—02/07
6. "Warning: Someone You've Never Met Is About to Ruin Your Life"—02/07
7. "It's Time To Dump Your Friends"—09/06
8. "It's time to Start Dressing Like a Man"—09/06
9. "You're Not at the Beach—Put on Some Shoes"—07/06
10. "You're a Douchebag"—05/07
11. "Is Being a Good Dad Ruining Your Career?"—05/06
12. "Is Your Girlfriend Plotting to Get Pregnant Behind Your Back?"—11/06
13. "Everything You Think You Know About Wine Is Wrong"—05/06
14. "Will Your Job Still Exist Next Year?"—07/07
15. "You're Not Shaving Properly"—07/07
16. "Will You Please Be Quiet?"—03/07