The men in the dressing room at the U.S. Air Guitar Championships at the Fillmore at Irving Plaza in Manhattan last week were flossing more Speedos and Spandex than Tommy Lee, circa Dr. Feelgood. An evening of wannabe rock stars and the "air mattresses" who love them, the night was emceed by star of "Air Guitar Nation" Dan "Bjorn Turoque" Crane, whose stated mission was to "bring back the essence of awesomeness." He admitted channeling Nietzsche during his own air-noodling: "He's a nihilist and air guitar is all about nothing," philosophized the Ambassador of Air. He offered this advice to the 14 national contestants competing (even the two ax-wielding airesses in attendence: "Take your balls and place them as firmly onto the wall as you can."

A commanding stench permeated the air.

[Full gallery of the backstage scene after the jump!]

"Oh my god, do you smell the body odor in here?" moaned "The Ultimate Loser" from New Orleans. Twenty-seven years sober, however, Mr. Loser stopped short of the free PBR and Budweisers in the fridge—talk about getting high off air. And the odor perpetrator? It turned out to be the bare-chested "Chuck Mung" of Cleveland, who had just returned from Kiev, accompanied by a blonde in furry boots.

New Yorker scribe Malcolm Gladwell, an old friend of Mr. Turoque ("before Bjorn was Bjorn," he reveals), was the night's token air-udite judge and a newbie to the weird world of virtual virtuosos. His thoughts on the maiden voyage into air guitardom? "Hilarious," he said. "And so bizarre."

No big surprise, New York's own "William Ocean" brought home the air-filled trophy after completing his signature move where he flips, lands on his back, and crushes a beer can while fingering his make-believe instrument.

For those who missed the event, the madness is captured on Air Guitar Nation, a DVD that comes out August 28.

Click for a photo tour of the backstage air action!