Embattled starlet Lindsay Lohan's arrest coincided poorly with the Monday night close of the tabs, leaving the weekly warriors scrambling to include her vacant-eyed mug shot. End result? Britney Spears gets to be the troubled popstar of the week.

Life & Style, Us, and In Touch all fashion spreads from photos of Britney's panty prance in freezing Malibu waters. They fill in the text boxes with a slew of experts explaining why this behavior is, like, totally fucked up. Star, continuing to carve out its new bizarro niche under Candice, takes the line that Brit's 16-year-old sis is knocked up and confiding in Brit.

But the big news is that OK! pops its celeb-friendly cherry by recounting all the sordid details of the botched interview and photo shoot they had with the poptart. First they hedge their bets by explaining that they "love celebrities," and love reporting on their babies, Oscar wins, etc. Then they proceed to talk about how Brit went to the bathroom with the door open several times, probably did a little blow in the middle of the interview, refused to let herself be styled by the experts, and wiped her disgusting chicken-greasy hands all over a borrowed designer dress. They even give an itemized list of the $21,267 worth of stuff Britney stole, damaged, or let her pooch poop on.

This from the magazine that has, for the past two weeks, featured fluffy exclusive photos of Eva Longoria's wedding and reportedly spent $400,000 to NOT print nudie pics of Nick Lachey and his best gal . Welcome to the Dark Side, OK!, we're happy to have you!