SOLE MAN Blair

• Happy feet: The reason English Prime Minister and Bush lapdog Tony Blair has lasted so long in office can be attributed directly to the his lucky shoes.

• Granny attacks!: After trying to bring a dangerous weapon (a bread knife, buried in a cooler) onto her flight home from L.A., grandmother Cecilia Beaman is struck with a $500 fine and put on the terrorist watch-list.

• White-boy beef: Robin Thicke, who refers to himself as "Al Green's distant white cousin", calls Justin Timberlake the male Madonna.

• McCain's refrain: John McCain's campaign apologizes to Mormon Mitt Romney after a McCain volunteer compares Mormons' treatment of women to the Talibans'.

• Holy hilarity: These Christians spoof holy stereotypes in their own version of the Onion. Among our favorites, "Left Behind Fan Club Misses Bus."

• Love doctor: The Texas House of Representatives honors Dr. Nilon Tallant, a registered sex offender, as "Doctor of the Day" ... for the second time.

• The MySpace Friend Race '08!
• Hermès Corners Wall Street Market

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