Far away from the Hilton-heavy scene around the L.A. County jail, there was another drama unfolding last night. With the Daytime Emmys approaching, more than 40 soap opera stars invaded nightclub Nikki Midtown in Manhattan for the 18th Annual Pre-Daytime Emmy Awards Party.

Shockingly, there were no instances of jaw-dropping baby daddy announcements, pensive staring into an invisible camera, or maniacal cackling. Nobody slipped into a coma, either. But between sips of the V2 vodka Emmy-tinis, Radar overheard one actor boast, "Dude, I totally get stabbed next Tuesday!" to which a fellow actor leaned in and proclaimed, "Hah! I get shot on Wednesday!"

Who, really, could be better than these fine fakers of catastrophe, heartbreak, and tears to comment on Paris Hilton's recent predicament? After the jump, Radar asks daytime stars the burning question: If Ms. Hilton's life became a soap opera, what would it be called?

"The Privileged. It's kinda sleek, right?"—Bonnie Dennison, Guiding Light

"Either Life in the Mirror or Reflections. But I like to look in the mirror, too, so I can't really fault her for that!"—Kristen Alderson (age 16), One Life to Live

"Paris and Beyond"—Justin Crosby, As the World Turns

"Uhhh ... The Who Would Not Make A Fucking Video With Her If Their Life Depended On It Show."—Zach Roerig, One Life to Live

"Should I go there with it? Oh, boy. One Fucked-Up Life to Live. Can I say that?"—Brandon Buddy, One Life to Live

Yes. Yes, you can.