Street legal: The Olsen twins are 21 today and can drink wherever they please. God help us all.
Tart-gate: Rick Kaplan challenges Dan Rather to a duel of pistols at dawn for insulting the honor of his fair news-maiden, Katie Couric.
Bun in the oven?: In what is sure to be the juiciest act of the Greek tragedy that is Britney Spears's life, K-Fed may have just knocked up his ex.
Jess's ex: Jessica Simpson will not leave John Mayer and his jazz flute alone.
The (Pennsylvania) Ave.: Run-DMC's Darryl McDaniels endorses Hillary over Barack on the grounds that voting for Obama is "like Run-DMC wearing Adidas into a Reebok party. Or a Nike party."
Tide roller: Our president is back from Europe (minus one watch) and hard at work, which apparently entails ripping on the University of Alabama football team.
The Lama and the gator: Dalai Lama guilt-tripped into hanging out with Steve Irwin's survivors at a place called the Crocoseum.