Paris Hilton, meet Elizabeth Avanzino: She's 35, an alcoholic, a drug addict, and a prostitute. She's also your aunt. As today's New York Post explains, Avanzino, who's been in and out of prison five times on various lifestyle-related charges, has some jail-related advice for Paris and wants to "connect" with the dim-witted heiress before she heads to prison for violating the terms of her DUI probation.

Avanzino's father, Larry Avanzino, is Kathy Hilton's biological father, which makes her Paris's half aunt. (Kathy struck gold when she married hotel scion Rick Hilton.) In an attempt to contact Paris, Avanzino sent a letter to the Post from the Dorothea Dix Women's Prison in Cranston, Rhode Island, asking the paper to put her in contact with the future jailbird so that she could "lend a supportive role to Paris and let her realize everyone is capable of making mistakes." The Post went ahead and printed the letter, even going so far as to hunt down Avanzino "in a seedy parking lot holding a red cup and reeking of booze as potential johns milled about" in Providence.

Though it seems unlikely that Paris and her aunt will be come fast friends, the two will have ample opportunity to be prison pen pals: Paris's 23-day sentence in a "special needs" unit of a Lynwood, California, detention facility begins on June 5; Avanzino may be headed back to prison for failing to check in at a court-ordered halfway house.

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