CALLING ALL NETROOTS Morrow

"My plan is to get elected President of the United States by using the Internet and word of mouth," says Phillip R. Morrow, a conservative Texan who works at a sheriff's department. While he acknowledges the difficulties of running as an Independent, he's already written his inauguration speech, which climaxes with his telling the U.N. Secretary General and all U.N. ambassadors to get the hell out of his country.

MORE ALSO-RANS
• Prohibition Candidate Gene Admonson
• The 'Just Makes Sense' Candidate
• Neo-Nazi John Taylor Bowles
• Jonathon The Impaler
• Michael Jesus Archangel