Say you're a starlet on the make or a card-carrying Eurotrash superhostess looking for your slice of the limelight at Cannes. One would think you'd steer into the blinding flashbulbs looking suitably glamorous. Not so, apparently, for these ladies, who decided to toast the international cinematic community by committing mind-boggling fashion don'ts.

• Eva Cavalli: The wife of Italian Stallion designer Roberto Cavalli has a fashion disaster that would embarrass Britney—her pants spontaneously fell off as she climbed the gangplank to her yacht where she was hosting a party for actresses Mischa Barton, Minnie Driver, and a probably sympathetic Sharon Stone. Perhaps her husband should consider a refresher in Zippers 101?

• Bai Ling: In a desperate but admirable attempt to score press, the actress and perma-don't arrived at a photo op for her film Shanghai Baby wearing red furry leg warmers, a white bikini, and a bathrobe. She's a PR genius.

• Zhang Ziyi: The Chinese actress showed her support for global warming by dressing alarmingly like a penguin for the premiere of the film Chacun Son Cinema. While the top half of her wore a men's white tuxedo, the bottom sported a voluminous black skirt. Somewhere, stylist to the boho stars Rachel Zoe is rubbing her spidery hands together, crafting her next move.

Photo: Splash News & Picture Agency