SPIDEY-ON-SPIDEY ACTION Maguire handles a real arachnid

• Web of receipts: Spider-Man 3 set records for opening day ticket revenues in Hong Kong and South Korea. Only $490 million more to break even!

• Fully loaded: If those snooping paps would just leave Lindsay Lohan alone, she could get on with what she was trying to do before they showed up: win an Oscar. Well, look who it is ... Lindsay declares war!

• Not just a typo: New York, not the New Yorker cleans up at the magazine awards, the Ellies.

• She shall overcome: Protest singer Joan Baez is banned from playing for troops at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

• La petit mort: Already approved by its culture committee, the Iranian parliament is expected to pass a law that sentences producers of pornography to death.

• The gas closet: The CEO of BP, Lord John Browne, steps down after being outed by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend—who just wanted his tank filled more often.

• Pimp King moonlighted as Ripper?: South African historian Charles van Onselen thinks he's found the identity of Jack the Ripper in Joseph Silver, aka the "King of the Pimps," who also terrorized women in Johannesburg.

Photo: Getty Images

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