TROUBLE IN PARADISE? Brangelina

This week the tabs set feminism back 50 years by railing on humanitarian homewrecker Angelina Jolie for going to work (albeit for one day) just a week after bringing orphan du jour Pax into her and Brad Pitt's rainbow house.

The root of the problem: Ange told a Vietnamese newspaper that she was all about the Bugaboo and minivan scene but then jetted off to Chicago to test drive Dodge Vipers for the upcoming flick Wanted. Angie, Angie, Angie. It's global world we're living in—Bauer and AMI can afford translators.

Thus begins a busy week for friends and former stylists of Brangelina coming forward with tales of how Brad—such an aww-shucks, all-American, baseball-watching guy from the Midwest—is seriously starting to wonder if the occasional animal sex romp with Ange is worth a mountain of dirty diapers and lugging Jolie's purse all over Asia.

In Touch takes a crushing line: "Their sex life isn't what it used to be," reports a friend and former underpaid assistant. But ... but ... fantasizing about Ange and Brad bumping uglies is how most straight couples stomach sex with their boring partners!

OK! (still 50 cents cheaper than Us but with funny-smelling, rub-off ink) speculates that Ange is already planning adoption number four, which readers absolutely will not stand for. In two polls, overwhelming majorities say Ange needs to cut back on saving the world to be with her kids. There's a fun photo box of Brad with George Clooney and Matt Damon talking about how Brad used to love hanging with his "boys."

In its first issue with a lighter staff and new EIC Candace Trunzno, Star goes with an "Exclusive" story about Jolie dumping her kids in daycare and ditching Brad. As a bonus, Star even snags disgruntled daycare insiders. Apparently when team Jolie-Pitt's pride is in the house other parents aren't allowed to take pics of their kids' birthday parties. "Parents are instructed not to look at Angelina," one source says.

Life & Style runs a "Great Kate Escape" cover that reeks of last week. Still, they manage to pool enough experts and "sources close to the couple" that a reader gets the sense Brad is clawing his way out of the Diaper Genie and begging Ange not to pick up anymore strays. As an added bonus, they have a sidebar claiming Jolie is pissed that Jen Aniston sent them a gift and card upon their most recent adoption. Oh, Jen, that passive-aggressive brilliance is why you'll forever be our favorite friend!

Photo: Getty Images