The new wave of British culture sweeping across the U.S. has already brought us stoned pop stars, crass alcoholics, and, of course, nesting footballers. Now E! announces the chav-tastic answer to Chaotic Britney and Kevin.

In a gushing press release, the network announces its plans to air the hit UK reality series Katie and Peter, which follows the life of "glamour model" and lowbrow novelist Katie Price (aka "Jordan," the busty Playboy persona that made her famous) and her cheeseball pop-singer husband Peter Andre.

But don't we have enough homegrown TV whores to watch?

None like Jordan/Katie—not since Anna Nicole died, anyway. And, really, if a woman is an ex-Playboy model with a fake DD rack, a partially blind son rumored to be the result of her hard partying whilst preggers, and a fey husband that makes Ryan Seacrest look like Jack Palance, does it matter if she has a funny accent?

After the jump, a checklist of reasons why Katie and Peter will translate just fine as trashy American must-see TV ...

• Katie Price is still, at heart, Jordan: Price's modeling persona, Jordan, appeared in six volumes of Playboy's Book of Lingerie in the '90s and ran for office in two British counties under the platform of free breast implants for all and more nudie beaches in England. Plus, her autobiography, Being Jordan, sold far more in the UK than her recent novels. Once on the boob ballot, always on the boob ballot.

• Katie and Peter met on a B-list reality show: Americans can't resist a good romance between two fledgling stars (...if the endless post-Surreal Life Flavor Flav, New York, and Brady specials are any indication). Katie and Peter met on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here!, a British show in which faded stars try to survive in the jungle. Nothing says career revival like rainforest nookie.

• They recorded a couple's single—for Aladdin: Who doesn't love a sappy Disney duet? Especially when neither one can really sing? Such is the case with this masterpiece. Instantly endearing.

• They named their child Junior: And if that isn't American enough, the couple is raising a second child (from one of Jordan's previous romances), Harvey, who suffers from mental damages as a possible result of drug use during Jordan's pregnancy.

Someone please hide the methadone.