• Bahama drama: Howard K. Stern, lawyer and lover to Anna Nicole Smith, has taken their disputed daughter and holed up in their disputed mansion in the Bahamas.

• Pact with the devil: Harvard named Drew Gilpin Faust its president yesterday. Her superlatives include: Harvard's first female president and worst at math and science.

• All stem, no flower: British women who are tired of the trite flowers and chocolates gift can expect something new this Valentine's Day. London pharmacies will sell Viagra over the counter.

• Geezers win Grammys: Showing their firm grasp of 10 years ago, Grammy voters awarded Mary J. Blige, the Dixie Chicks, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers the music biz's most boring honor.

• At least he kept his shirt on: A German tourist was so upset about being hassled at a Manila airport X-ray machine that he whipped out his 66-year-old frankfurter.