
And we were determined to find out.
Last Wednesday, Radar armed "Sultan" Neel Shah with a hidden camera and a ridiculous cover story, and sent him in to swim with the sharks. Our imposter was able to slip into the action at Bruno Jamais restaurant when one of the millionaires left his seat to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, technical difficulties rendered the video footage useless. Shah did, however, manage to dupe one of Paula Zahn's CNN correspondents into interviewing him on camera. We waited patiently for a week and, on Valentine's Day, the segment finally aired: Neel Shah, aka the "Cumin Baron of Calcutta," aka Bollywood producer, makes his appearance at minute 2:29.
[After the jump, exclusive photos of the event and transcripts from Shah's speed dates with New York's greediest beauties.]

Carley
A slinky brunette from Connecticut
NEEL SHAH: How are you doing?
CARLEY: Good, good. You?
Fantastic. Nice to be surrounded by people like us, right?
Ha ha. Yeah. So I'm trying to stay away from the "what's your job/what do you do for a living?" question—it gets boring after a while. Tell me something interesting you did this week.
Hmm. Can the interesting thing be job-related? I work a lot.
Ha ha. Okay.
Well, have you seen Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion?
Yeah, I love that movie.
I'm trying to secure financing for a Bollywood re-make. We're currently looking for someone to play the Lisa Kudrow role. I just met with her this week to see if she'd do it. The ditzy blonde thing plays really well in India.
Makes sense.
Yeah, they're all poor over there. It takes their minds off the poverty and stuff. So what brings you here?
Well, I saw the ad in the New York Post for this. At first I was, like, "Who would actually come to these things, shallow people?" But then I thought about it and was, like, "Well, I'm like that!"

Alissa Jo
Part-time model, fashion student, 20
Hi. Nice Sidekick. Never seen one like that before.
That's because it's customized with Swarovski crystals.
Damn. How much did that run you? If you don't mind me asking, of course.
Of course not. Like $400.
Not too bad. So what brings you here?
I saw an ad for it and decided to sign up. I dunno. Everyone here kind of sucks.
Tell me about it.
Yeah. Did you meet that guy at Table 17? He was, like, four times my age, and checked out every single girl who walked by. I was, like, "Hello, you're gonna get your turn with them in like, 3 minutes." What an asshole.
He got really pissed when I called him "Sir" while he was talking to some girl before. Wait, how old are you?
I'm 20.
So you weren't kidding when you said he was like four times your age.
Nope.