HELP ME, DAWG Spears

The problem with attacking paparazzi with an umbrella and your head shaved is that they'll inevitably snap your photo. Britney Spears learned this the hard way last week when she went postal on a bunch of photogs who had followed her out of rehab (round two). No one agency got the exclusive, so Life & Style, Star, US, and In Touch all ran the shots.

OK! didn't run the photos, and instead took a page from last week's record-selling issue of In Touch by putting Britney next to Pam Anderson on its cover. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but, at $2.99, OK! is still a buck more than Bauer's finest.

All the weeklies mention Britney husband #1 Jason Alexander's tell-all with The Mirror. The $20,000 Alexander got for exposing Britney's druggy past will hopefully last him longer than the 2004 marriage.

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