After his image-scrubbing joint-appearances with Stephen Colbert last night, Bill O'Reilly went right back to doing what he does best: contradicting himself. This time, the Fox Newsman can't decide if child molesters are sickos who prey upon the "weakest citizens" and violate them "in unspeakable ways," or if kids actually kinda, sorta like the bad touch.

In his syndicated column today, the Fox News pundit attacked Edward Cashman, the lax (who knows, maybe even activist?) judge in Vermont who failed to properly sentence a felon—the man served just 30 days for attacking his wife with a screwdriver—who then went on to abuse a child. According to O'Reilly, "Allowing a brutal child molester to walk free while getting 'treatment' is certainly not punishment enough for traumatizing a 4-year-old perhaps for life."

O'Reilly also used Judge Cashman of Bennington County, Vermont—an area so liberal morally bankrupt, O'Reilly once imagined Howard Dean going there to run a bed and breakfast (a bed and breakfast!)— as a straw man on his show yesterday, bemoaning the fact that:

Vermont is a restorative justice state. It believes the most heinous criminals should be rehabilitated. Its legislature voted down Jessica's Law shortly after that horrific 60-day sentence from Judge Cashman.

But wait. Earlier this week O'Reilly said that Shawn Hornbeck, the 15-year-old boy who was kidnapped in Missouri might have enjoyed his four-year captivity. Hornbeck's parents told Oprah Winfrey they suspect their son was sexually abused by his alleged kidnapper, Michael Devlin. O'Reilly thinks the kid might have liked it.

In a rant that essentially compares Hornbeck to Patty Hearst, O'Reilly said: "The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his old parents... There was an element here that this kid liked about his circumstance."

Did we mention Devlin allegedly had kiddie porn on his computer? Maybe O'Reilly thinks Hornbeck liked that, too.