Bill O'Reilly wants to go Hollywood. How else to explain why the Fox News windbag decided to use his latest syndicated column to playfully pitch a few fair and balanced documentary ideas?

O'Reilly, whom The Man Who Would Not Shut Up author Marvin Kitman thinks should be played by George Clooney, looks at the five full-length documentaries nominated for the Oscars and asks, "Did you notice that all five of the nominated documentaries have left or secular themes?"

Thankfully, O'Reilly offers some suggestions for documentaries that will even out the liberal bias of An Inconvenient Truth, Jesus Camp, et al. Take the uplifting Tiller the Baby Killer, about "Kansas abortionist George Tiller who, for $5,000, will abort a fetus up until birth." Or the hardhitting exposé The Streets of San Francisco: "A look at the thousands of homeless people, many addicted, who have flocked to the City by the Bay for free money and other perks the city bestows on them." (Not to be mistaken with the Carl Malden/Michael Douglas show of the same title.)

Other proposed O'Reilly projects include Fidel Camp, The Kyoto Blues, and NBC and Me. O'Reilly's slate is already pretty full, what with his book, Those Who Tresspass, already optioned for the silver screen by Icon Productions back in 2004.

And lest you think O'Reilly is in bed with those Hollywood liberals he condemns, bear in mind that Icon is run by a right-thinking man of integrity who just happens to work in film: Mr. Mel Gibson

Photo: Patrick McMullan