Note to all bloggers who aren't entirely enamored with the comedic stylings of Dane Cook and deign to air such blasphemous sentiment online: Dane Cook—or his sister or some maniacal masterhacker playing Dane Cook—will get crazy on you. At least that's what happened when Alex Blagg over at Best Week Ever referred to Cook as the "Elvis of mindless crotch-grabbing and back-flipping that gets passed off as stand-up comedy." Shortly afterward, he received the following response from The Official Dane Cook MySpace Page:

"why all the cynical bullsh*t?"

Could it be that the biggest comedic phenomenon since Andrew "Dice" Clay still has time to thump his detractors one by one via MySpace message?

"I spoke with Dane. He most definitely did NOT write this.... If you are familiar with MySpace, there are many false sites," his publicist Ina Treciokas writes via e-mail. Pressed, Treciokas adds: "I read it to him. He ABSOLUTELY did not write it." She suggests that a particularly creative and obsessed fan may have somehow faked the message or that Blagg himself did it for publicity (a charge Blagg denies vehemently, offering up his MySpace account as proof).

While it's true that there are many fake MySpace pages, the site referenced in Blagg's Best Week Ever post, the one through which he sent and received messages, is the very same site Cook himself links to from his own website, DaneCook.com.

What about Cook's sister or the various family members he says he allows to login and manually add thousands of new friends a week to his profile? Could they have sent it?

"He does not know who would've written it," Treciokas says.

In the end, however, Blagg hedged.

"In all likelihood, Dane Cook didn't actually write these messages. They're way too highbrow, and Louis CK didn't send them to me first. But I can confirm with absolute certainty they came from the Official MySpace Page he's so famous for, which means if Dane didn't send them, all his millions of MySpace friends are actually interacting with some other douchebag who can't take a joke."

The rest of Cook's sic-filled tirade:

you wish you were Dane Cook and that's one of your problems. your an elitist dolt with nothing but a crappy unfunny bio. Or as we call you "alt"

if i am DC or not doesn't really matter. i got into your head and thats all i wanted. once you start posting your jealous "remarks" .. and in forums it is not just your private opinion anymore. So not everyone that reads it thinks your an adorable heavy set treat with your witty quips. I demur that position you take sir.

my remark lets see -- well -- is you're a nobody douche with low self esteem that wishes he could contribute anything to this world so how do you do it? Hmmm I guess your a critic of people? That is your new title AB the critic of people! How does that pay when you're not working at the kinkos or is it home depot?

your parents must me so proud. Let's call them together and tell them about your latest post!

I look forward to your reply. I wager you sit writing and re-writing for well over an hour. Heart pounding trying to think of the perfect phrase or wording to get back at me at someone you dont know at all but you are great at that right? How can you take down someone that gave you the opportunity to speak at all? Go ahead sweetness write back with your well oiled quips -- call a friend maybe they will help write it. Or better yet do what you ALWAYS do and take out your lack of worth on Dane Cook and others that work hard, contribute and get their goals -- the ones that CAN'T FIGHT YOU because they are too busy and have too much to do to even notice you.

You would never in a million blogs say anything to anyones face you scared kitty. i bet my eyes on it.

Man think about your mom and dad. Fuck they must wish they had a son that was worth something more than a blogging hater. Don't worry Alex you're not the only one who is getting this treatment from me. See you're not that special even in bs like this. I just love turning the hard light on some of you bitter pills.

THAT is your legacy. Think about those words Alex Blagg. THAT is what your name has earned.