MEL B PISSED Eddie, Scary (inset)

• Boyfight: Joel Madden of Good Charlotte and Shifty Shellshock of Crazy Town trade blows. Grab some popcorn and enjoy.

• Potty training: Party harlot Paris Hilton chronicles her obstacles in using the bathroom facilities in a proper manner. Hot tip: Please lift the seat cover first before using the toilet.

• More potty abuse: Paul Verhoeven's latest, Black Box, will feature star Carice van Houten getting human waste dumped on her while half naked. Damn, this might have made for a great scene in Showgirls 2.

• Keepin' it real, UK-style: Prince Charles and wife Camilla visited a Harlem charter school where the prince shot some hoops with the basketball team. Allegedly, Camilla asked to pop over to 125th street, break off a few pieces at Popeye's, and then purchase a few of those "insanely addictive" street-romance-potboiler novels from a local street.

• Inside man: Perhaps JLo's conversion to Scientology is more organic in nature—her pops is an old school Thetan-whacker from 20 years back.

Photo: Splash News & Picture Agency