• Condi gets what Condi wants: After just two years, Contra-funding human rights abuser John Negroponte is being yanked from his post as intelligence chief, a position our sacrificial president has called vital to the war on terror. Negroponte will now play second banana to Condoleezza Rice in the State Department.

• End of an era: Fox's once popular soap for teens and adorers of teens, The O.C., has been canceled. Real Housewives of Orange County—back for a new season.

• Big men on campus: Duke lacrosse players Reade Seligmann and Collin Finnerty are cleared to return to school while they fight sexual offense charges—plus, there's the stress of midterms.

• Fezwear: DNR reports that Kutcher coattail rider Wilmer Valderrama is planning a "Latino-inspired" fashion label called Calavena—it's Spanish for "has-been."

• $tars for $ale : Careless whisperer George Michael quietly raked in $3 million for a New Year's Eve gig paid for by an unnamed oligarch. Is Roman Abramovich a secret Wham! fan?