• Miss Camille's School for Wayward Girls: Us Weekly's Noelle Hancock speaks with pop culture-obsessed academic firebrand Camille Paglia about Britney Spears (It's Us not the Chronicle of Higher Education), and she tells the magazine, "I am completely appalled by what these young women are doing because I think that they are cheapening their own image and obliterating all sexual mystery and glamour, which are the heart of the star system."

• Lohan/Gore '08: Lindsay Lohan claimed Al Gore offered to talk with her about changing her image via a mass-mailing from her Blackberry. Maybe she should consult Camille Paglia.

• Spreading: Dmitry Kovtun, an associate of poisoned Alexander Litvinenko, has fallen into a coma and tested positive for polonium-210, the same radioactive substance that killed the Russian spy. Seven workers at the hotel where the two men met days before Litvinenko first fell ill have also tested positive.

• New digs: A group of forty detainees at Guantánamo Bay have been moved to a different facility featuring "individual cells with long, narrow windows overlooking areas with metal tables and stools that were meant to be shared spaces but will now be off-limits." Posh.