Man, it sucks to be a kid these days. Everywhere you look you find yet another assault on America's littlest citizens. Take this AP story about a recently released American Academy of Pediatrics study on the effects of advertising on children. As AP quotes the study:

"Young people view more than 40,000 ads per year on television alone and increasingly are being exposed to advertising on the Internet, in magazines, and in schools..."

Exposure to these ads may lead to eating disorders and underage drinking, making this the most alarming AAP study since their dire report on Holiday Safety Tips, which includes "Clean up immediately after a holiday party. A toddler could rise early and choke on leftover food or come in contact with alcohol or tobacco" and:

Use care with "fire salts," which produce colored flames when thrown on wood fires. They contain heavy metals that can cause intense gastrointestinal irritation and vomiting if eaten. Keep them away from children.

Also hitting kids where it hurts is the departure of Greg Page, whom your TV-addicted, fire salt, and cigarette butt-craving child knows as the Yellow Wiggle. This is the worst thing to happen to kids' TV since Steve from Blues Clues "went to college" and was replaced by Joe. (And, no, Steve didn't die of a heroin overdose, he just joined up with The Flaming Lips and became an indie rocker.)

But of all the things that might make kids crap their pants, this may be the scariest: President and Mrs. Bush Host Children's Holiday Reception at the White House. (Or, if you prefer your White House press releases finessed into news, check out Fox's take: Bush Welcomes Children to White House for Holiday Party.) Facing a pitiable 31 percent approval raiting for November, the president is appealing to the most receptive, easiest to co-opt Americans: our children. We hear the party featured all-you-can-watch TV and all the fire salts and cigarette butts their little tummies can hold.