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2006's Top Five Most Pretentious Looks

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A TWOFER Fingerless gloves and sunglasses indoors
The freedom of self-expression is a wonderful thing, and we'll be the first to herald original styles whether they are in Vogue or ... Teen Vogue. But when these looks catch our eye one too many times, we've got to put the brakes on. If you rock the following looks, you'd better watch out. Consider this a public service announcement from your friends at Radar.

[Five things to avoid after the jump!]

1. FINGERLESS GLOVES
The only purpose they serve to humanity is covering up Karl Lagerfeld's shrinkled 70-year-old seamstress hands. Otherwise, fingerless gloves remain inherently useless and, despite what Karl may think, have never made anyone look "biker-tough" or "rock-n-roll chic". Unless, of course, you're one of those genuine, self-mutilating, multiply-pierced goth sluts with track marks up and down your arms. But even then, why act hard?
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NO LOVE Lagerfeld in gloves
2. GIANT HEADPHONES
Generally worn by mopey hipsters and their aloof, nutty girlfriends, giant headphones are as forced and pretentious as the obscure bands these aspiring production assistants and junior art directors listen to. That perpetual DJ look is so two years ago.
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HANG THE DJ MisShapes with headphones
3. CARDIGAN WORN OVER SHOULDERS
Sure, some still think it's the epitome of country club classiness and Ralph Lauren-style refinement, but the annoying thing about the cardigan-over-the-shoulders look is that Anna Wintour always employs it. And that, by definition, is pretentious.
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BAD CARD' Off the shoulder
4. SUNGLASSES WORN INSIDE
There's a good reason this look is so stigmatized. It cries out, "I'm dying for attention." So unless there's an army of paparazzi standing by to snap your photo, just let it go. And even then, staring them down is so much more hardcore.
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SHADY Glasses indoors
5. THE HOUSE OF HOLLAND FASHION GROUPIE T-SHIRTS
We can't even begin to tell you how many suckers we've seen going to parties in these obnoxious, over-hyped rags that read things like, "Do Me Daily Christopher Bailey", "Cause Me Pain Hedi Slimane", "Uhu Gareth Pugh", and "Get Your Freak On Giles Deacon." We'd give you the background on the who's who but you have to be stuck so far up your own ass to care about the obscurities of British underground fashion, we're not even going to try. Just steer clear.
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NUH-UH House of Holland shirt

Photos: Style.com; Thecobrasnake.com

Comments

Actually, now that you mention it, old seamstress hands might be plagued by osteoarthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome. If these were compression gloves, they would provide support and help from swelling, as well has hiding swollen fingers and knuckles, which would be quite outre among his set. I'm just saying . . . .

Posted by: hokku241 on December 26, 2006 3:51 AM

Hey, don't slag off the huge headphones! They're an awesome fashion accessory, especially now that some enterprising souls are blinging them up with Swarovsky crystals and other shiny bits and pieces! And not to forget there's a whole subculture out there ( http://headphet.org ) that get a HUGE kick out of girls wearing huge headphones!

Posted by: Zefrem23 on June 30, 2007 10:31 AM

Hey, don't slag off the huge headphones! They're an awesome fashion accessory, especially now that some enterprising souls are blinging them up with Swarovsky crystals and other shiny bits and pieces! And not to forget there's a whole subculture out there ( http://headphet.org ) that get a HUGE kick out of girls wearing huge headphones!

Posted by: Zefrem23 on June 30, 2007 10:31 AM

Hey, don't slag off the huge headphones! They're an awesome fashion accessory, especially now that some enterprising souls are blinging them up with Swarovsky crystals and other shiny bits and pieces! And not to forget there's a whole subculture out there ( http://headphet.org ) that get a HUGE kick out of girls wearing huge headphones!

Posted by: Zefrem23 on June 30, 2007 10:31 AM

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