• Sorry 'bout my hoo-ha, y'all: Britney Spears, on her own website apologizes for her behavior last week, thanks Victoria Secret for its underwear line.

• Forgetting Paris: Following year-old bans by gossip columnists, the slow decline of Paris Hilton continues today as Salon compares her to the Bride of Chucky.

• Kirk to Youth: Still-alive Kirk Douglas has released a public message to Gen Y imploring them to fix the mess the world is in. He probably just caught an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen.

• On a break from the lam: Wesley Snipes has turned himself in to Florida authorities to face tax evasion charges. After posting a $1 million bond, he thanked fans for support and returned to Namibia, where awaits adoption his court date.

• Sharon Osbourne's moving Christmas gifts: Ozzy's wife ups the ante for sending unique Christmas gifts by sending her enemies a personalized fecal surprise each year.

Photo: Splashnews