Over the course of three decades headlining adult films, Ron Jeremy has proven there's very little he won't do for money or publicity. Now the man known as "the Hedgehog" for his spherical hirsuteness has put all of his unsavory exploits—from banging an 87-year-old to dipping his member in cement—on display once again in a memoir, delicately titled The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz.

Out in February, the book contains ample evidence of Jeremy's legendary ability to self-fellate. Stretching his 10-inches of fame into 343 pages of sweaty anecdotes, advice, and gossip, Jeremy name-drops everyone from Charlie Sheen (who once procured him a hooker without his knowledge) to Lynn Redgrave (who cleaned up douche boxes after he shot a film at her house.) Elsewhere, he tells of Paris Hilton and Bijou Phillips flashing their "boobies" at him in a Chateau Marmont ladies' room, Hugh Hefner cock-blocking him in a hot tub, and Billy Idol enjoying a butt massage in his company.

The book—which comes on the heels of last February's documentary Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy—arrives just in time to fill the empty shelf space in the "Shameless" section left by O.J. Simpson's If I Did It.

"I'll go almost anywhere, do almost anything, regardless of whether I have anything to promote other than myself," Jeremy admits. That's not to say he's a cynic, though: The book's acknowledgments section reprints a letter Jeremy sent to Brad Pitt, Bono, and Oprah Winfrey, among others, asking them to use their fame to fight world hunger. "Someone of Brad Pitt's clout could ask some of the political powers that be to offer tax incentives to meat farmers," he says, "[The process] could start in one country and blossom."

Hunger, and the amelioration thereof, is apparently an issue close to Jeremy's heart. As he writes, "I like to eat. Vagina, lasagna, whatever."