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< BACK TO Fresh Intelligence Radar's Five-point Plan for K-Fed's Future MAN WITH A PLAN Federline, yo 1. Kevin needs to dig in his heels and fight for custody of their children in court. We're thinking a highly public trial with plenty of opportunities for Federline to crack wise on the stand and off could lead to a comfortable Kato Kaelin level of fame, with cameos in future National Lampoon comedies and lucrative spring break appearances as a Foxy Boxing referee or Strip Spelling Bee judge. 2. Federline needs to sell the rights to all those sex tapes and indiscrete personal photos. There's no way he's gonna pull off a memoir, so he needs to think visually if he wants to make some money. Even the dude from Poison has a sex tape, so the public is clearly willing to accept anything when it comes to celebrities or semi-celebrities having sex on tape. 3. Once Federline is flush with all that National Lampoon and sex tape money, he needs to move to Florida, where the tax laws will be on his side and he can kick back in the sun like O.J. Simpson. Florida's also an excellent choice for Federline since it's the physical and spiritual home of his hero, Robert Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice. 4. Time to plan the next ten years. In short order, he's gonna want to hit the big career milestones: The Surreal Life, Dancing with the Stars, and a Tae Bo infomercial. Then it's time for two or three DUI arrests and a chance to be born again. 5. After that, an awkward on-air reconciliation with Spears on, let's say, Jimmy Kimmel Live (yes, Jimmy Kimmel will still be on the air in ten years and you'll still never have watched it), and we can expect two or three new IVF babies just as soon as Spears ends her marriage with her fifth husband. That, or he can disappear into total obscurity like what's his name, that dancer who married Jennifer Lopez. 
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