It's no secret that Rolling Stone's Peter Travers is the biggest blurb whore in all of Hackdom. Last year alone, his name appeared below 65 gushing quotes (in advertisements for 65 separate films) and he's already racked up another 53 so far in 2006. Hollywood Bitchslap, a website that obsessively catalogues such things, even named its "Whore of the Year" Award in his honor.

The less-cynical side of us wants to believe that Travers isn't the despicable corporate shill he appears to be when he writes sentences like, "Mission Impossible III is the movie to beat in the race to push your pulse rate past the danger zone." Or, "Shaun of the Dead is a blast of fright and fun! Keeps the blood and the laughs gushing!" The man thinks in blurbs.

But after this week's full-page blurb-icle on Borat in Rolling Stone, it looks like the once-respected critic has finally cashed in the tattered remnants of his integrity. As a service to our friends at 20th Century Fox, we've excerpted the following easily digestible nuggets of marketing gold, all of which appear in the same review:

• "A mind-blowing comedy classic in the making!"
• "A tour de force that sets off comic and cosmic explosions in your head!"
• "Not since Little Red Riding Hood have the unsuspecting been duped so hilariously!"
• "Demonically devious!"
• "Laughs that stick in your throat!"
• "If you don't upchuck, the scene is uproarious!"
• "You won't know what outrageous fun is until you see Borat. High Five!"

Over the years, we've seen Peter stumble wildly out of many a screening room, clutching his gut in agony:

• Napolean Dynamite: "You'll laugh till it hurts...Sweet!"
• Thank You For Smoking: "This film will make you laugh till it hurts!"
• American Beauty: "Makes you laugh till it hurts"
• The Aristocrats: "You'll laugh till it hurts."
• State and Main: "Pricelessly funny. You laugh till it hurts."
• Melinda and Melinda: "You'll laugh till it hurts."

But now he's getting downright self-destructive. Should someone call his doctor?

"Borat will make you laugh till it hurts, and you'll still beg for more."

We hope Jann pays him by the blurb.

UPDATE
• Peter Principle Proven!

RELATED
• Purloined Pitt Pic Bumped Borat
• Borat on Vanity Fair? Is Nice!