• ... Rosie O'Donnell may be giving headaches to her new boss and View cohost Barbara Walters, but she's positively giving fits to the Catholic League. For the second time in under a week, the conservative group's quote-happy president, Bill Donohue, took offense with O'Donnell's on-air shtick, dismissing as a "smear" her claim that Pope Benedict XVI was in charge of investigating the Church's pedophile scandal during his days as a cardinal. Last week, Donohue unleashed another volley after O'Donnell made fun of the Eucharist, suggesting the View panelists should "try their brand of religious humor on Muslims. Surely they must know some fun things to say about the core beliefs of Islam." Perhaps—but what in God's name is Donohue doing watching so much daytime TV?...

• ... As they gather in Frankfurt this week for the annual book fair, some publishing types will be sharing a snicker over the inaugural catalog for Warner Twelve, the new Hachette Book Group imprint that has pledged to publish only a dozen agenda-setting titles a year.

The catalog, which features works by Christopher Hitchens, Robert Altman, John McCain, and others, opens with a portentous "personal confession" from publisher and editor in chief Jonathan Karp. "After 17 years in the publishing business, I have finally come to terms with the reality of our collective endeavor," he muses, before going on to construct a rather labored metaphor equating book publishing with pasta-making. "At TWELVE, no spaghetti will be rapidly boiled and hurled. Each of our books will be like a lovingly seasoned dish of baked lasagna, the only meal on our plate for a full month, served with a splash of national advertising, a piping hot publicity campaign, and zesty in-store promotions." In fact, Karp himself is not unlike a lasagna, according to one editor who perused the catalog: "He's so cheesy!"

UPDATE: Karp contacted Radar this morning to defend his overcooked prose: "I believe cheese is an essential nutrient."