YOU KISS SAWYER'S ASS WITH THAT MOUTH? Murphy

The morning show wars are brutal. Which is why a recent New York Times profile of Jim Murphy, Good Morning America's new commanding officer, marveled at the former Dan Rather-sidekick's "Zen-like" calm and "serenity" in the trenches.

With an untested new male coanchor, Chris Cuomo, a noncommittal coanchor, Diane Sawyer—who's almost universally believed to have no intention of staying past next year—and The Today Show's 1.1 million-viewer lead in the ratings, Murphy has a lot on his plate. And yet, according to the Times, he seems like he "stepped out of a jazz album cover."

What's his secret? He doesn't "give a fuck."

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